Blueberry Tarts

I don't love cheesecake.
I know, right?
I mean, sure, sometimes I get a bite of one that's pretty dang tasty, but that's about it.

Today Paula Deen said she was making "blueberry tarts" and I squeaked. Until she did it.  These were Sandra Lee at her finest for sure.  Cream cheese, sugar, eggs, Nilla wafers and canned pie filling?  Squick.  Those are nothing more than poor man's cheesecake in cupcake liners, you can't fool me.

Until I started reading the customer reviews (5 stars with 202 reviews?!). . . hmph.  Seems like maybe these are worth a shot. . .

Cream Cheese Tarts
2 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 eggs
12 vanilla wafers
1 (21-ounce) can blueberry filling, or other pie filling

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Place a paper cupcake liner in each cup of a muffin pan.

Beat cream cheese with a handheld electric mixer until fluffy. Add sugar and vanilla, beating well. Add eggs, 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Place a vanilla wafer, flat side down, in each muffin cup. Spoon cream cheese mixture over wafers. Bake for 20 minutes. Allow tarts to cool completely. Serve with blueberry filling on top, or pie filling of your choice.

Oh Thank God

Smitten Kitchen has gotten around to blueberry muffins.  I LOVE blueberry muffins.  Of course, I'll probably ruin all of her hard work by trying to "healthify" the damn things, but such is life.  And her recipe is a take on  Cook's Illustrated's anyway, so I feel justified.

Perfect Blueberry Muffins
Adapted from Cook’s Illustrated
Makes 9 to 10 standard muffins
5 tablespoons (2 1/2 ounces or 71 grams) unsalted butter , softened
1/2 cup (3 1/2 ounces or 100 grams) sugar
1 large egg
3/4 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
1/2 teaspoon grated lemon zest
1 1/2 cups (6 3/4 ounces or 191 grams) all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoon (7 grams or 1/4 ounce) baking powder
1/4 teaspoon (1 gram) baking soda
1/4 teaspoon (2 grams) salt
3/4 cup (3 3/4 ounces or 105 grams) blueberries, fresh or frozen (if frozen, don’t bother defrosting)
Preheat oven to 375°F. Line a muffin tin with 10 paper liners or spray each cup with a nonstick spray. Beat butter and sugar with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Add egg and beat well, then yogurt and zest. Put flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt into a sifter and sift half of dry ingredients over batter. Mix until combined. Sift remaining dry ingredients into batter and mix just until the flour disappears. Gently fold in your blueberries. The dough will be quite thick (and even thicker, if you used a full-fat Greek-style yogurt), closer to a cookie dough, which is why an ice cream scoop is a great tool to fill your muffin cups. You’re looking for them to be about 3/4 full, nothing more, so you might only need 9 instead of 10 cups. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes, until tops are golden and a tester inserted into the center of muffins comes out clean (you know, except for blueberry goo). Let cool on rack (ha), or you know, serve with a generous pat of butter.

Birthday Cocktails

I like to honor the Sandra Lee in me with a little birthday inspired Cocktail Time. . .
Last year, no wait, two years ago? we had the Candy Cane and the Sugarplum (which I believe was some sort of blueberry vodka based beverage). This year I'm not straying far from that and I think I'll do the Candy Cane again, but swap out the mediocre Sugarplum for my favorite bubbly drink, the Champagne Cocktail.
See, I loves me some blueberries, and I found BLUEBERRY BITTERS. Blueberry. Bitters. Y'all. I was looking for a recipe for bitters to see if I could make my own blueberry ones, when what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a link to some clever people that have done all the work for me. I am hoping and praying that this is delicious, but we shall see.
For those of you unfortunate enough to have made it this far in life without the pleasure of a Champagne Cocktail, let me break it down for you:

Drop a sugar cube into a champagne glass and douse it with a generous hit of bitters. Top with champagne and garnish with a lemon twist.

Seriously that easy and so yum. See how blueberry bitters could be awesome here? I do!

Now about that Candy Cane. . . I can't remember exactly what I did, but let's try this:

1 shot of Godiva white chocolate liqueur
1 shot of vanilla vodka
1 shot of peppermint Schnapps

Garnish with a mini candy cane (as the crushed peppermint candy rim I tried to go with was a bit of a nightmare).

I admit, it might not be equal parts of all three, but you can start there at least. Please keep in mind that while this is all milky delicious and candy tasting it is pure alcohol so don't go guzzling them down and then driving out to do your Christmas shopping.

Oh, and in honor of my roommate (who had never had one of these if you can even imagine) - maybe I'll also serve Snugglers. Should we rename them Snuggies to remain culturally relevant?
(BTW, Snugglers are hot chocolate with peppermint Schnapps). Might sound girly, but after a cold day of cutting down trees and stringing lights, they are just what the doctor ordered. As long as the doctor in question is Sandra Lee.

(it doesn't really kick off til 1:23, but I have no idea how to edit video, so, fast forward or something)

Update to popsicle season

How can I not do lemon blueberry popsicles first after all the air time I've been giving this flavor combo lately? I couldn't and that's all there is to it.

2 cups water
3/4 cup Splenda
1 cup lemon juice

Add Splenda to water and heat over medium for a few minutes to dissolve. Add lemon juice and stir to combine. Fill popsicle molds 3/4 full and put in the freezer.

(I really want to try this with fuzzy water to see if I can make my pops frizzante and jeezly crow, did you guys know about this?! Now I totally have to try it.)

1 punnet of blueberries
2 spoonfuls of Splenda (or to taste)
flour or cornstarch

Add Splenda to berries and heat over low to make a blueberry sauce. Once berries are mostly broken down, add a teaspoon or so of flour to thicken the sauce.

Keep a close eye on the popsicles in the freezer; you need to let the pops freeze up a LITTLE and then add the blueberry sauce and swirl it through with a skewer. If you wait too long you'll be too late and have to try a layered version, if you do it too soon it will all settle in the bottom of the mold and you'll still have to do a layered version.

Lemony goodness cocktails

Giada is killing me this morning.
Blueberry limoncello cooler? Get outta here!

1 (750-ml) bottle limoncello liqueur, chilled
1 cup sparkling water, chilled
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries *see Cook's Note
5 fresh mint sprigs, lightly crushed, plus extra for garnish
Crushed ice

In a pitcher, combine the limoncello, sparkling water, blueberries, and mint sprigs.

Fill highball glasses halfway with crushed ice. Pour about 1/2 cup of the limoncello mixture over the ice in each glass.

Garnish with mint sprigs and serve.

*Cook's Note: If using frozen blueberries, add them to the pitcher just before serving.

This also reminds me of my strong desire to make a lavender simple syrup so that I can make a lavender lemonade cocktail. Maybe I'll give it a whirl with rosemary today; both with regular sugar, and Splenda. OMG you guys, a sugar free sweetened summer cocktail for us South Beachers? Hell. Yes.
I'm envisioning a shot of citrus vodka, maybe, a tablespoon of herb flavored simple syrup (I'll have to taste it), juice of one lemon, and some soda. Top it with a spring of whatever herb I've used and a lemon slice. Is it wrong to want this before breakfast?

Blueberry Banana Muffins

Something you should know about me: I love blueberries. Like, an insane amount.
BUT! Sometimes blueberries themselves kind of suck. I suppose it's seasonal and berry specific. Sometimes I prefer the smell and taste of blueberry "flavor" whatever that is. And the color. I definitely like the color.
Right now though? Blueberries are freaking awesome and you'd be a fool not to take advantage. I think I see another farmer's market and a few punnets of blueberries in my very near future. Keep an eye out on my desk at work for baked goods. Even Sprinkles tried to get in on the action with lemon blueberry cupcakes. And this is the second recipe they've clearly stolen from my blog which is full of recipes I steal from all over, but that is entirely beside the point.

I'm not the only one in blueberry mode it seems; SELF Magazine just sent me this scrummy sounding little tidbit:

Makes 6 muffins (ie, you might want to triple the recipe)

Vegetable oil cooking spray
1 large egg
2 tablespoons fat-free sour cream
2 tablespoons lowfat buttermilk
1/2 cup oat bran
1/3 cup whole-wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups mashed banana (about 3 medium)
2 tablespoons brown sugar (or brown sugar substitute - keep in mind that the substitute requires half the amount as regular, so this would be 1 tbsp of substitute)
1/2 cup blueberries, fresh or frozen, unsweetened * note to reader; frozen? Now? Be serious. Do NOT use frozen fruit right now. If you're reading this in December though, please feel free.*
1/2 teaspoon grated orange zest (optional) *note to self; get a zester! *

Heat oven to 375 degrees. Coat a standard muffin pan with cooking spray. Whisk egg, sour cream and buttermilk in a bowl. Mix oat bran, flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a second bowl. Combine banana and sugar in a third bowl. Stir in buttermilk mixture. Sprinkle in flour mixture and stir gently. Fold in blueberries and zest, if desired. Fill muffin cups 3/4 full with batter. Bake until an inserted toothpick comes out clean, 15 to 20 minutes.

Plus? Get a load of THIS (this is with regular sugar, with substitute it'll be even lower)!!

130 calories per muffin
1.8 g fat (0.5 g saturated)
29 g carbs
3.8 g fiber
4.4 g protein

Thank me later. I think I might make these tonight. They're like, way SB friendly.

** Delicious Update:
OMG SO GOOD. I doubled the recipe and ended up with 20 muffins, not 12 as one might expect from the whole "makes 6" nonsense.
Also, I used the silicone cups for my first twelve, and paper for the rest. The muffins do stick to the paper quite a bit, so you might want to use foil or just spray your muffin pan.

** Soggy Update:
Eat them within a day or two of baking - they spew moisture out into their container (plastic bag, tupperware, whatever) and get a bit soggy, and actually, a little bitter somehow. Weird. So yes, eat them quickly.

Blueberry Pie

No time like the present.

Blueberry Filling
6	cups fresh blueberries (about 30 ounces) (see note)
1	Granny Smith apple , peeled and grated on large holes of box grater
2	teaspoons grated zest and 2 teaspoons juice from 1 lemon
3/4	cup sugar (5 1/4 ounces)
2	tablespoons quick-cooking tapioca , ground (see note)
	Pinch table salt
2	tablespoons unsalted butter , cut into 1/4-inch pieces
1	large egg , lightly beaten with 1 teaspoon water

For The Filling: Adjust oven rack to lowest position, place rimmed baking sheet on oven rack, and heat oven to 400 degrees. Place 3 cups berries in medium saucepan and set over medium heat. Using potato masher, mash berries several times to release juices. Continue to cook, stirring frequently and mashing occasionally, until about half of berries have broken down and mixture is thickened and reduced to 1 1/2 cups, about 8 minutes. Let cool slightly.

Place grated apple in clean kitchen towel and wring dry. Transfer apple to large bowl. Add cooked berries, remaining 3 cups uncooked berries, lemon zest, juice, sugar, tapioca, and salt; toss to combine. Transfer mixture to dough-lined pie plate and scatter butter pieces over filling.

Roll out second disk of dough on generously floured (up to 1/4 cup) work surface to 11-inch circle, about 1/8 inch thick. Using 1 1/4-inch round biscuit cutter, cut round from center of dough. Cut another 6 rounds from dough, 1 1/2 inches from edge of center hole and equally spaced around center hole. Roll dough loosely around rolling pin and unroll over pie, leaving at least 1/2-inch overhang on each side.

Using kitchen shears, trim bottom layer of overhanging dough, leaving 1/2-inch overhang. Fold dough under itself so that edge of fold is flush with outer rim of pie plate. Flute edges using thumb and forefinger or press with tines of fork to seal. Brush top and edges of pie with egg mixture. If dough is very soft, chill in freezer for 10 minutes.

Place pie on heated baking sheet and bake 30 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees and continue to bake until juices bubble and crust is deep golden brown, 30 to 40 minutes longer. Transfer pie to wire rack; cool to room temperature, at least 4 hours. Cut into wedges and serve.

Pretty But Pasty Too much tapioca (or the wrong thickener, such as flour or cornstarch) results in a filling that holds its shape but tastes gluey and dull.	Fresh But Soupy With no thickener at all, there is plenty of fresh berry flavor, but the filling is loose and runny.

We used a 1 1/4-inch biscuit cutter to cut holes in the dough, but a spice-jar lid will also do the trick.

ON THE LOOSE Pie filling thickened without enough tapioca won't firm up. But too much tapioca leads to gumminess.	ALL FIRMED UP A little tapioca plus a grated apple created a juicy but sliceable filling.

Blueberry Lemon Meringue Cupcakes

Yesterday I was watching Martha Stewart while I ate the hell out of a big old messy burrito. She was making the most delicate, girly little lemon meringue cupcakes that looked amazing. In my mind, I host these extravagant girls only brunches and get togethers where things are all feminine and adorable and these cupcakes would totally work it.
And then I thought nothing of them as she moved onto paper flowers (which would also be great for said party). Until I read Vanilla Garlic's post about "The Cupcake That You Never Saw." Blueberry curd?! OF COURSE!
Leave it to an actual culinary genius to come up with this on his own, as I bumble along the interwebs snagging and reinterpreting (and sometimes just copying) the numtastic things I come across.
Once upon a time I made some really yummy lemon/strawberry cupcakes, with lemon frosting featuring the zest from the lemons that grew in our backyard and I was quite pleased with me (I used the juice in the frosting and batter as well). And much as I love lemon and strawberry together, blueberry and lemon?! Sweet mother. So now, whether or not VG manages to recreate his magic, I'm going to have to try it on my own.

Martha's Lemon Meringue Cupcakes

Makes 24

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 large eggs, room temperature
• Finely grated zest of 3 lemons (about 3 tablespoons), plus 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• 1 cup buttermilk
• Lemon Curd
• Seven-Minute Frosting

1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Line standard muffin tins with paper liners. Whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt.
2. With an electric mixer on medium-high speed, cream butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating until each is until incorporated, scraping down sides of bowl as needed. Beat in zest and vanilla. Add flour mixture in three batches, alternating with two additions of buttermilk and lemon juice, and beating until just combined after each.
3. Divide batter evenly among lined cups, filling each three-quarters full. Bake, rotating tins halfway through, until golden brown and a cake tester inserted in centers comes out clean, about 25 minutes. Transfer tins to wire racks to cool completely before removing cupcakes. Cupcakes can be stored overnight at room temperature, or frozen up to 2 months, in airtight containers.
4. To finish, spread 1 tablespoon lemon curd onto middle of each cupcake. Fill a pastry bag fitted with a large open-star tip (Ateco #828 or Wilton #8B) with frosting. Pipe frosting onto each cupcake, swirling tip slightly and releasing as you pull up to form a peak. Hold a small kitchen torch 3 to 4 inches from surface of frosting, and wave it back and forth until frosting is lightly browned all over. Serve immediately.

BUT! Forget that lemon cake plus lemon curd nonsense! Blueberry curd - hell yes. Plus I'm sure you can imagine that I'm going to throw a few blueberries into some of the cupcakes because the gorgeous purple polka dots look so awesome and taste fantastic.

Blueberry curd:
1 pint blueberries
2 eggs
3/4 cup granulated sugar
Pinch of salt
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature, cut into 1-inch pieces

In a food processor or blender, puree the blueberries until smooth. Pass the puree through a chinois set over a bowl, using a pestle to press on the solids and extract as much juice as possible; discard the solids. You should have about 1/2 cup juice.

In the top pan of a double boiler or in a nonreactive saucepan, whisk together the eggs and granulated sugar until blended. Then whisk in the blueberry juice, salt, and lemon juice. Set the top pan over but not touching simmering water in the bottom pan, or set the saucepan over medium-low heat. (If using a saucepan, take care not to heat the mixture too quickly.) Cook, stirring constantly with a wooden spatula or spoon, until the mixture is warmed through, 1 to 2 minutes.

Begin adding the butter a little at a time, stirring each addition until blended before adding more. Continue cooking, stirring constantly and scraping the bottom of the pan, until a finger drawn across the back of the spatula leaves a path, 8 to 10 minutes more. Immediately remove the pan from the heat. Pass the curd through the chinois set over a bowl and let stand for 10 minutes. Whisk to blend.

Blueberry Pancakes

Few things make me jump around excitedly in the morning. Blueberry pancakes (or Burberry pancakes if you're lucky enough) are one of those things. I was thrilled that the beanheads over at America's Test Kitchen put a link to a video for perfect blueberry pancakes in today's email. (Beanheads because if they send me ONE MORE of those damn cook books I might burn their offices down).
So, with full credit to them for coming up with the recipe, and full credit to me for scribbling it down and typing it into my blog. . . and you know me - this recipe will not even closely resemble the original when I'm done making it. Between whole wheat flour, skim milk, Splenda and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, I have no idea what these will be like once they're South Beached up. But as soon as I can try it, I'll be sure to let you know. Perhaps we'll do a side by side test comparison to see if they're tolerable in "diet" format. Those beanheads seem to be rubbing off on me.

Blueberry Pancakes

• Frozen blueberries - Seems they prefer Wyman's frozen blueberries based on their rigorous testing procedures, so I'll trust them, but whichever frozen blues you have are fine I'm sure.
• 1 tbsp lemon juice
• 2 c whole milk
• 2 c unbleached all purpose flour
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 tbsp sugar
• 1 egg
• 3 tbsp melted butter
• 1 tsp + of oil

Thaw, rinse and drain the berries on papertowels. Set aside.
Whisk the lemon juice into the milk and let sit to thicken.
In a bowl, combine the dry ingredients.
Whisk egg and melted butter into the milk mixture.
Pour the liquid into the dry and whisk - be sure not to overmix! Leaving some clumps of unmixed flour is not only okay, it's preferable to ensure that your cakes don't get rubbery.

Heat a nonstick skillet on medium heat for about 5 minutes. Add 1 tsp of oil and try a small sacrificial pancake (1 heaping tbsp or so) to make sure the pan is ready.
Create cakes using heaping 1/4 c scoops of batter - the size of your pan will dictate how many you can fit, but you don't want them to touch. Once you see bubbles forming and it looks like the cake is firming up, sprinkle 1 tbsp of blueberries onto the cake. Flip when ready (approx 1 1/2 to 2 minutes per side, but it's more important to look for color and doneness than to rely on time alone, so keep an eye on them).

Serve with REAL Vermont maple syrup if you don't want to hear about it, or eat alone - given the butter and sugar in the batter, they don't actually need anything additional. Or so they say. Syrup I say!

Oh, and crispy bacon. Crispy bacon would be nice too. Or maybe turkey sausage - the patty kind because it's better. Yum!