Pie Crust

Oh fine - if you must. (I'll just say it one more time though. . . . )
I tend to trust that these clowns have done all the science and calorie crunching for me. Give it a whirl and then make me a pie please.

Foolproof Pie Dough
Vodka is essential to the texture of the crust and imparts no flavor—do not substitute. This dough will be moister and more supple than most standard pie doughs and will require more flour to roll out (up to 1/4 cup).

For one 9-inch Double-Crust Pie
2 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (12 1/2 ounces)
1 teaspoon table salt
2 tablespoons sugar
12 tablespoons cold unsalted butter (1 1/2 sticks), cut into 1/4-inch slices
1/2 cup chilled solid vegetable shortening , cut into 4 pieces
1/4 cup vodka , cold
1/4 cup cold water

1. Process 1 1/2 cups flour, salt, and sugar in food processor until combined, about 2 one-second pulses. Add butter and shortening and process until homogenous dough just starts to collect in uneven clumps, about 15 seconds (dough will resemble cottage cheese curds and there should be no uncoated flour). Scrape bowl with rubber spatula and redistribute dough evenly around processor blade. Add remaining cup flour and pulse until mixture is evenly distributed around bowl and mass of dough has been broken up, 4 to 6 quick pulses. Empty mixture into medium bowl.

2. Sprinkle vodka and water over mixture. With rubber spatula, use folding motion to mix, pressing down on dough until dough is slightly tacky and sticks together. Divide dough into two even balls and flatten each into 4-inch disk. Wrap each in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 45 minutes or up to 2 days.



Step-by-Step: Key Steps to Foolproof Pie Dough


1. MAKE A FAT AND FLOUR PASTE: Completely blending part of the flour with all of the butter ensures a consistent amount of fat-coated flour in the final dough.
2. ADD MORE FLOUR: Pulsing in the final cup of flour ensures a consistent amount of uncoated flour in the final dough.


3. ADD WATER AND VODKA: Sprinkling with water and vodka ensures even distribution. No need to skimp—unlike water, vodka won't make the dough tough.

Banana Cream Pie

Good gravy I love me some banana cream pie. Working from the comfort of your hotel room bed offers up some perks, like Martha Stewart on in the background. Well you can bet your sweet tooth that these fingers stopped typing once she started making the pie of my dreams.
No wait, I would most certainly not make my own crust a), and there would be a layer of ganache between crust and 'nana, b). (does it work to do it that way in type, or just in speech? Whatever, it's my blog and I'll do what I want)

Delicious Banana Cream Pie
Makes one 9-inch pie
All-purpose flour, for dusting
1/2 recipe Pate Brisee - or, let's be reasonable
1 large whole egg, lightly beaten, plus 4 large egg yolks
6 to 8 medium-ripe bananas
3 cups whole milk
2/3 cup granulated sugar
5 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons confectioners' sugar

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. On a lightly floured work surface, roll out dough to a 12-inch round, a bit less than 1/4 inch thick. Fit dough into a 9-inch pie plate. Using kitchen shears or a sharp knife, trim crust so there's a 1/2-inch overhang all around. Fold under overhang so it extends slightly beyond edge of pie plate. Crimp edge as desired. Prick dough all over with a fork. Brush rim of dough with beaten egg. Chill pie shell until firm, about 30 minutes.
(Or again, with the premade)

Line chilled pie shell with a round of parchment paper, leaving a 1-inch overhang. Fill with pie weights or dried beans. Bake until edges of crust just turn golden, 25 to 30 minutes. Remove pie weights and parchment. Return crust to oven, and continue baking until golden all over, 20 to 25 minutes more. Place pie shell on a wire rack to cool completely.
(Not to beat a dead horse, but if you were using premade crust you wouldn't be doing any of this. . . . )

Prepare an ice bath; set aside. In a bowl, lightly whisk egg yolks; set aside. In a saucepan, whisk together milk, granulated sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Bring to a simmer (do not boil), and cook, whisking constantly, 3 to 4 minutes.

Whisk a quarter of hot-milk mixture into egg yolks; whisk in remaining milk mixture. Strain into a clean saucepan, and cook over medium-high heat, whisking constantly, until custard is thick and bubbles appear in center, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer to a medium bowl, and cover with plastic wrap, pressing it directly onto surface to prevent a skin from forming. Set in ice bath until completely chilled, 30 to 35 minutes. (Filling can be kept in refrigerator, covered with plastic wrap, up to 1 day.

Cut 3 or 4 bananas into 1/4-inch slices, slightly on the bias. Beginning at the edge of the piecrust, arrange the slices in slightly overlapping rows. Cover with custard, using an offset spatula to smooth it into an even layer. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, combine cream and confectioners' sugar; beat until soft peaks form. Using a small offset spatula, spread the whipped cream on top of the custard. Refrigerate pie, loosely covered with plastic wrap, for at least 1 hour or up to 2 days.

Just before serving, cut 3 or 4 bananas into 1/4-inch slices, slightly on the bias. Beginning at the edge of the piecrust, arrange the slices in slightly overlapping rows on top of the whipped cream.

I hear some of that Stay Fresh fruit powder may stop the bananas on top from discoloring. Or lemon juice if you want to stay natural, though it does slightly change the flavor. Ooh, or try pineapple for a tropical flair!! Hell yes.